It feels like I was at the bottomest pit of a valley today.
I’m glad God brought me to greater heights like what he mentioned in Habakkuk.
There’s containment of thoughts right now
there just isnt enough time to write about how i feel about everything that happened
questionings will go on. .
But I Shall Remember That All Questions Need Not An Answer.
(to be edited )
it’s 1235 am I need to be up by 830 for work tmr and Im still here on lj …
yesterday was really consuming. mentally draining yes i think i really think too much for a teenager.
i dont think calling myself a teenager would be appropriate anymore. recently i thought of the Big 2 coming up in a few months time and, boy, I do feel old, but proud of it and excited for 20years old to come. from now on, it’s going to be young adult.
k back to the point, the day was overwhelming because i childishly slept in, selfishly laid like a rock, persistantly held my ego up, reluctantly apologised and snobbishly thought to myself. The sins were like stabbing my heart, but I could only wail more in my room.
In a day I got reminded of how things were so often taken granted for. How people could just pass on (partly over a shepard’s pie) and all the things we christians could have done to save another soul out there. How spoilt we are as children living too comfortably in developed states like Singapore. How we simply forget the many others less fortunate than us. How rude we are to our parents, thinking we’re the almighty and they should serve us and not the way around. Okay it’s more than this but I really felt guilty because i’m in a situation like that. I really wonder if my friends do behave and feel the same.
In that day I felt so helpless because I wanted to show my love for Daddy but it was so tough. I didnt know what to say, how to say or when to say. What a birthday he had.
But the most comforting thing I got was that he reminded me time and again to seek God and let ourselves accept each other even if we know we think differently. To Reconcile and to Build. I thought that was really timely and remindful for me, what a dad I have! You know, he might not be the Dad who showers me with stashes of money or gives me freedom and will to do any sort of activities, who is trendy or hip or uses the coolest electronic gadgets around but he helps so much in giving me life application reminders to perk me up when he sees i’m down. (haha okay it isnt like there’s a virtual cold war between us, this communication problem is somehow really subtle yet surreal)
Okay Looks like i’ve got yet another resolution !