However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace. Acts 20:24
Tonight was horrible. The hurls I got from Dad just made me feel so low and torn. What right did he have? And then I know I need to honour my parents.. but seriously how?! There are so many moments you feel persecuted, for things you have done or not, or for intentions (good or bad) you deliberated. And when you “lose” in the war zone and get told off, you feel so strongly the right to need to defend yourself just to tell everyone your pov and pull them onto your side. This is where the focal point of salvaging a misunderstanding turn wrong .. and I got reminded again that it was more than a misunderstanding or justifying myself, but rather an issue of love and righteousness.
I am struggling so hard to be like Paul from the Bible. Does it not take so much for us to really consider ourselves as nothing? How is that even possible? To consider ourselves worthless is ridiculous no? You see, this in itself reveals the innate self-centered nature we bear. So oftentimes we still continually place self on the thrones of our lives, and when something goes wrong, we block out all avenues of others and shift everything only onto ourselves. This mirrored everyone sparkling clear in today’s episode. Okay well, seriously not everything that happened was entirely my fault but that’s not the point. The point is that all of us need to learn from Paul. We cannot forget the race that we were tasked with (great commission). We even more need remind ourselves to work on our lives by consciously knowing who it really belongs to (self/not) and sigh this is so hard.. God hear my cry!!
Paul is someone I really admire so much.